Wednesday, 25 February 2015

What Is Good Parenting?

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and there’s no manual that can teach you how to be a good one. Yet there is such a good thing as good parenting, just as sure as there’s bad parenting. Almost everyone gets married and many of those people have children together and end up being parents, so knowing how to parent effectively is something good to know and worth learning. However, a lot of the learning comes not from an outside source but from yourself. There’s no template for being a good parent; you might encounter examples of good parenting out there but every set of children and parents is different, so you can’t take some other family’s model and just apply it to your own. You have to figure out what works for your family, drawing from your experiences and from common sense.

Of course being a parent isn’t easy. You have to take care of someone who depends on you, fulfilling their needs and giving them guidance while paying attention to your own life as well. You’re playing the role of protector, role model, nurturer, friend and disciplinarian all at once. When you put it all into perspective, good parents are really amazing people indeed.

So what does good parenting consist of? Simply put, a good parent raises their child to be capable of surviving in the world. Some people confuse good parenting with just providing their children with everything possible like food, money and possessions but this actually inhibits children by not allowing them to fend for themselves. In order to survive in the world, one needs to be able to stand on their own two feet while depending on support every so often. Support often comes in the form of social relationships. In order to form relationships, one needs to be reasonably kind and open. In order to be kind and open, people need to have that demonstrated and enforced in them, and this is where parents come in.

There’s bound to be many bumps along the way, sometimes you’ll feel like putting your kids up for adoption but in the end you stick together because you love each other. Loving your children and showing it the right way is at the heart of good parenting. Be there for your children when they need it, don’t overindulge them, equip them with the tools necessary to be self-sufficient so that when they have their own children, they will do the same.



Parenting a Child is the Most Rewarding Experience

I am blessed with two beautiful children, an eight-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son, and while I certainly have had some very frustrating moments, I can honestly say that parenting a child is the most rewarding experience in life.

When my wife first became pregnant, it was the happiest and most nerve-wracking day of our lives. We both wanted to have children and felt like we were both ready, but then the reality of parenting a child actually set in and we started to think, “What have we got ourselves into?”

I guess you are now keenly aware that in nine months, another human being will be brought into this world that is completely and totally dependent on you for everything, and that is going to look to you to be his or her provider.

It is a daunting proposition. Then you start to think about all of the things that he or she will have to go through, like being picked on in school, or falling off of a bicycle for the first time, or having his or her heart broken, and you start to wonder if you made the right choice.

The thought of parenting a child suddenly did not seem like the picture-perfect scenario we had imagined. I was envisioning taking my son to Little League baseball games and on fishing trips. I imagined him being smart, popular and athletic, and I never thought about the fact that he would have to face some difficulties in life that would cause him pain.

My wife and I talked about it for a long while, and she told me that I was thinking just like a father. She said that parenting a child, like anything else in life, has its good points and bad points, and that all we could do was raise him the best way we knew how, give him all of the love and attention he needs and hope for the best.

When my son was born, I realized that I never should have second-guessed myself in the first place. There is nothing like the feeling of seeing your children for the first time and knowing that you are their father. Their whole life is ahead of them and they are so helpless, and it really makes you want to be a better man.

Two years later, we had our daughter, and got that feeling all over again. My son and daughter are both in elementary school right now and doing well. They have had their problems, but they have also had a lot of great times and seem to be pretty happy with their lives. Parenting a child is not always easy, but  it has been the most rewarding experience of my life.